Dear Future Man in Aya's Life,
First of all, Future Man, please notice how I did not address this letter to my "Future Boyfriend". I refrained from using such a word as... boyfriend, because I have changed my own expectations as well. Consider this, as much as I'd like to have a boyfriend, I have realized that in the bigger picture, that is not really what I want right now. Future Man, I am a believer in every thing happens for a reason so if you absolutely rock my world and change my mind on any of stuffs, well then so be it but for now while you are still make believe, I have the ability to control the situation.
By the way, Future Man, I am now in K*C waiting for my aunty from window shopping, you know I hate wasting my time shopping in the mall, don't you? Okay, so I received a wedding invitation 'again' this morning, one of my classmate in SHS is gonna get married next week. WHAT A SURPRISE! I do not even realize that I am now is my 20's. My target for getting married is 24 or 25. wth.. it will happen to me too within the next few years. oh my god. I have to meet you soon then!
I am writing this when I do not know you exactly or maybe I have met you or I am with you now but we do not know we are destined to be together till the time we are spouse to each other. Future Man, the readers are all shaking their heads' right now. They cannot even believe the words they are reading because they have been through it all with me. They have read about the countless failed dates, miserable situations, attempts to re-kindle past loves, and how I've somehow managed to remain hopeful throughout it all. Future Man, an average of hundreds of people are ready to kiss the freakin' ground you walk on. Some will kiss it so that I can finally shut the eff up. Some will kiss it because they are ready to see me happy. And some will kiss it because they know that while we may be in newly found bliss, that there will undoubtedly be more stories to come from our non-relationship relationship.
While we're on the subject, Future Man, you should know that I write a blog. All of my posts are based on the real-life, down and dirty experiences of Aya's daily and long-term life. The basis of my writing could from something you say, something you do, or anything that you fail to say or do. Be prepared for this, Future Man. Most things that happen between us, if they occur in public, should be considered fair game when it comes to posting but I promise to use discretion when it comes to our private life. Future Man, you should also understand that of the hundreds of people who read my blog, there is only a small handful of people who will actually know who the heck you are. I know this because I know that I don't individually communicate with those hundreds of people very often so the majority of the readers read about my life for entertainment and as a means of relating to my experiences. They do not read because they really care to find out the true identities of the many code-named men. HAHA.
With all of that being said, Future Man, based on events in recent weeks, I have discovered that there are just three things that I want you to know right now.
The first is that the little things go a long way. They don't take too much time but they let me know you care without being too serious. I promise I won't think you want to marry me but it will make me feel like a million bucks in that moment. I am a highly expressive person so you can be sure the gestures will be returned. And that's what it's all about, right? It's about feeling good and enjoying the moments. This should be fun and as soon as it's not....I'm out.
However, I understand that there might be times when I want to punch you or when you might want to toss me out of a moving car but as long as those reasons aren't anything catastrophic, there is leeway in the "I'm out" policy. This brings me to the second thing I want you to know and that is that sometimes you forgive a person simply because you want that person in your life. What I'm saying is that the expectation that things will be perfect is just dumb but the ratio to fabulous should definitely be favorable.
Before I mention the third "thing" that I want you to know, Future Man, I'd like to go back to what I said earlier about this not being real life. I can't help but notice how high-maintenance and a little bit crazy all of this might seem to an actual potential future man. The fact that I even wrote a post like this seems to contradict the notion that I can do casual and be free-spirited but like I said, this is all considering that on my blog I can create a perfect world scenario.
So how this brings me to point number three is that I don't care what we do, how we do it, or where we're doing it but what matters is that we're doing it together and for the time being we're enjoying it. Over the course of the weekend, having to do with moving and other matters, I heard the phrase, "it's not where you are that matters, it's who you're with." I'm applying this to you, Future Man, because despite the fact that I just wrote this post, all that really matters to me is that you're making me happy and I'm doing the same for you.
So I say, Future Man, given the opportunity (like on my blog), I lack the words to describe my hope and my dream about you though. I have a lot to say about you and what I want from you. However, the bottom line is that whoever you are and at whatever phase of my life you enter into the picture, I only want two things: that we make each other happy and that at a given time we define for ourselves what making each other happy actually means. I'm excited for this next stage in my life, which is why I wish I could share my joy with you. But I'm pretty convinced that we'll talk all about this once we meet. And who knows, I'll probably have even more exciting things to tell you then. Exciting, isn't it, Future Man?
Until we meet...
xoxo.
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